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How loud do you need to be to be heard?

Does it feel daunting to market yourself? Because you’re an introvert and highly sensitive? Or when you hear marketing you think of sleazy pushy salesmen? But really, how loud do you need to be to be heard?

What if being able to offer your services in an authentic way has more to do with your visibility and your confidence than with the loudness of your offer?

I was waiting – for a very long time – for people to find their way into my world. I knew I had something that would help them in their darkest days to grow and change their lives for the better. And surely someone somewhere would notice that. But no one did and no one came and I was so close to giving up many times.

It was after a big disappointment when no one showed for my workshop that I made the decision to take responsibility and change that pattern.

I remember many years before when a tarot card reader asked me: if someone steps on your toes, do they know? The answer was no. They probably didn’t because I didn’t express in my words or my reactions that I was upset, or felt hurt. This is the first sphere of visibility: presencing your own feelings, your needs, and desires towards yourself. Only from this place of connectedness comes self-compassion and self-care. How often do you ask yourself: what do I need?

The second sphere of visibility is around your relationships: being able to express your feelings, needs, and desires to others. This is hard because you may believe that your safety and emotional wellbeing depends on them. And if you say what you really feel, you show who you truly are and express your truth you might get rejected. You’ll lose the love or respect from others. A shift happened for me when I realized that I could never control how others react to me and that I am in the position today to create safety for myself by accepting and appreciating who I am. Even if no one else does.

The third sphere of visibility is how we show up professionally. I used to use my reluctance for marketing as an excuse to only show myself occasionally and spend most time hiding. My growth edge was around realizing that I offer real value. The coaching process I take my clients through really works and I’ve seen incredible transformations manifesting in front of my eyes. It’s a positive upwards spiral: the more work I do the more confident I get and the more confident I get the easier I find it to talk about my work with enthusiasm and real belief in how I serve others.

Yes, you need to be heard but you don’t have to scream, be sleazy, or pushy. You just need to step out into the world, speak in your own authentic voice, having the courage to be visible. And the right people will invite you into their world.

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